“The 6 Most Annoying Questions Friends Ask You After Plastic Surgery” by Dr. Weinzweig
.. And How to Respond to Them Without Losing Your Cool
Plastic surgery is usually an exciting, rewarding and transformative experience. Unfortunately, those positive feelings are sometimes accompanied by some anxiety. Will it hurt? Will you be happy with the results? Will recovery get in the way of your life?
For many, another big question is how to address their surgery with friends, family and colleagues. You may wonder if people will notice, what they’ll say, and how you’ll respond. It’s good that you’re having some wonderings, as you should prepare yourself for these conversations and decide how you want to handle them.
Though plastic surgery has become increasingly mainstream and decreasingly taboo, many patients still feel some apprehension around being candid about their procedures. Your degree of comfort with the surgery and the people you discuss it with will determine how you proceed, but these suggestions may give you some ideas.
- Why did you get plastic surgery?
This is the first and most common question you’ll get. People are often very curious about your motivation. One reason for that might be their own interest in getting something done. Consider that the asker may just want to pick your brain before she takes the plunge herself.
A general, self-affirming response does the trick for this question. Say something like, “I did it for me. It was something I’d thought about for a long time and finally felt like I was ready.” Of course you can be more forthcoming if you’re comfortable, but don’t feel that you have to be.
- What was wrong with how you looked before?
Of all the questions, this one is probably the rudest and most presumptuous. Before flying into a rage, take a breath and think about the fact that this person probably views their question as complimentary. They may be trying to imply that you were perfect before.
Consider telling them that there was, in fact, nothing wrong with you before. Maybe you can even make a joke by comparing it to their purchase of a new pair of shoes or TV – the new one just fits their needs better now. If you feel like opening up a bit more, say, “Nothing was wrong, I just wanted a change.”
- How much was it?
People probably wouldn’t ask you how much your new car or home cost, but some may think it’s acceptable to ask you how much your plastic surgery cost. It’s not. However, you should be prepared for the fact that some may ask anyway. Again, the motivation behind this may be more selfish curiosity than anything else – it could be that they are trying to determine if it’s a viable option for them.
If you aren’t comfortable revealing the cost, you can always fall back on the standard response to an inappropriate question: “Why do you want to know?” If that’s too vague, you can tell the asker to visit your surgeon’s website if they’d like to find out more. Both of those responses subtly, yet clearly, communicate your desire not to discuss money matters. Anyone who can take a hint should get the idea.
- Did it hurt?
Though you may not feel like discussing the procedure and your recovery in detail, you should realize that his question is probably coming from a place of concern. You can be as general or specific in this answer as you like. My advice is to remind people that plastic surgery, like all surgeries, requires a recovery period that is usually accompanied by some discomfort. Try, “Well, there was some pain afterwards but I’m feeling great now.”
- Are you happier now?
This is a pretty invasive question, unless it’s coming from a very close friend with whom you’ve previous discussed your surgery. The best bet here is to communicate that you weren’t unhappy before, but that you’re very pleased with the outcome of the surgery. Respond by saying, “I’m certainly happy with the way it turned out and I’m really enjoying my new look,” or something along those lines.
- Are you going to have more?
It’s possible that you don’t even know the answer to this question, so there’s no need to feel that you owe anyone else an answer to it. Regardless of whether you plan on more surgeries or not, there’s no reason you need to inform curious friends of your plans. Go with something simple that doesn’t invite any further questions: “I’m still enjoying the results of this one, so I haven’t thought much about more.”
Depending on the procedure you have, people may not even see anything obvious enough to prompt a question. The goal of most plastic surgeons is to improve your look in a subtle way. It’s like an expert makeup job – if it’s done well, you notice how great the person looks, and not the makeup itself.
If you really want to avoid the discussion, try changing something else before debuting your new look. A dramatic hair change, a new pair of glasses or outfit can be the thing you point to when people ask what’s different about you. Just remember that the decision of how to discuss your surgery is entirely your own and there’s no wrong way to answer a personal question.